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Carlton Lassiter
Head Detective, Santa Barbara Police Department
Created on 2009-02-08 06:25:08 (#18452069), last updated 2009-02-23
1 comment received, 66 comments posted
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6 Journal Entries, 5 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 15 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Detective Carlton Lassiter |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 07-29 |
| Location: | United States |
Bio| Disclaimer | The Boss | The Partner | The Alleged Psychic | Credits |
This journal is for RP/fic purposes only. I am not Carlton Lassiter or the actor who portrays him, Timothy Omundson. Lassiter and all Psych characters are property of NBC Universal. |
Carlton Lassiter: You know, in case I never said it, I was really pleased when you were named as chief. "Interim" chief - I'm sure that's only temporary. Karen Vick: Mmm-hmm. Carlton Lassiter: And it's true, the outgoing chief was important to me. He was my mentor, he made me the cop I am today. Karen Vick: Mmm-hmm. Carlton Lassiter: I know the outside perception is that the force was a real "boy's club" under him, so it was really smart when they named a - you know - woman. Karen Vick: All right, honey. Carlton Lassiter: Excuse me, what? Karen Vick: I love you. Carlton Lassiter: [startled] Huh? [Karen turns, revealing the wireless phone in her ear] Karen Vick: Okay. No, I'll just see you when we get back, okay? [hangs up] Karen Vick: I'm sorry, detective, were you saying something? * * * Carlton Lassiter: Look, Chief, I can get results. Let me in on this. Shawn Spencer: Sure, Chief, Lassie seems like a smart choice. We know he's a demon on wheels and, of course, he's so very good with women. Karen Vick: Under the circumstances, I might consider you, Carlton, but you're never more obvious then when you're undercover. Perhaps you've forgotten the prosthetic nose debacle of 2005? |
Juliet O'Hara: If you confess now, name your accomplices, I will let the D.A. know you cooperated and maybe, just maybe, no guarantees, JUST maybe... they'll cut you a break. [pauses, then flips a chair for emphasis] Carlton Lassiter: It's terrible. Juliet O'Hara: What? Carlton Lassiter: Am I scared? Am I quaking? No. That was what I call "lower-case" mad. You need to be "upper-case" mad. * * * Juliet O'Hara: Guess what today is? Carlton Lassiter: It's not one of those touchy-feely holidays invented by card companies to goad me into buying a present for someone I couldn't care less about, is it? * * * Juliet O'Hara: [to secretary] Hi, SBPD. Can we please get the class schedules for these students? Thank you. [secretary nods, walks away] Carlton Lassiter: Lesson number three: Don't say "please", don't say "thank you", and definitely don't say "hi". Spirit squad auditions were over ten years ago. You're an authority figure. Act like it. Juliet O'Hara: Ever heard, "You catch more flies with honey"? Carlton Lassiter: Lesson number four: Don't quote cornpone country-bumpkin sayings to your commanding officer. Juliet O'Hara: How many lessons are there? Carlton Lassiter: Six hundred and thirty-eight. |
Carlton Lassiter: Just so we're clear, just so there's no confusion, let me explain this one more time in terms I know you'll understand. Carlton Lassiter: [holds first hand at eye level] Cops are here. Carlton Lassiter: [drops second hand to waist level] Bounty hunters are here. Carlton Lassiter: [holds first hand slightly above second] Psychics are here. Burton 'Gus' Guster: We beat bounty hunters! * * * Carlton Lassiter: If I find you anywhere near this case, I will throw every book I find at you. Shawn Spencer: What if you find the Bible? You gonna throw that too? Seems a little sacreligious to me, don't you think? * * * Shawn Spencer: Good morning, detectives! Collecting donations for the policeman's ball? Carlton Lassiter: We don't have balls. [pause] Shawn Spencer: I honestly have no response to that. * * * Juliet O'Hara: Guys, we don't have time for this. Shawn Spencer: I know, and that's why I'm here to offer our services. Carlton Lassiter: I'd rather shower with a bear. * * * Carlton Lassiter: What in the name of sweet justice are you doing at my crime scene? Shawn Spencer: Your crime scene? That's funny, I didn't see your name on it anywhere. Carlton Lassiter: Ha, ha. Get out! |
Profile Layout: Default Userpic: Layout: Banner: Mood Theme: |
Last revised: 1/2009 |
ConnectInterests (10):
burton guster, carlton lassiter, dule hill, james roday, juliet o'hara, karen vick, maggie lawson, psych, shawn spencer, timothy omundson
External Services:
 | lassiter_sbpd@livejournal.com |
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det_lassiter, dial_a_psychic, henry_spencer, lassiter_sbpd, my_partner_gus, not_interim, psychette10, smellsofpeaches
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